“Will you shave your moustache when we get married”
These were the exact words, that broke the silence in a taxi moving through Mumbai city. Year 1997. One of those moments in my life, when I felt completely numb. Stuck for words. Senses were jammed and could not respond.
I was in a taxi with this girl, dropping her to her place after a late evening of overtime work. It was a policy in my office that male members would accompany female members back home if they were to work late on projects.
Till date, I have not understood this question. I can't fathom the origin of this question. Can't guess any possible reason for such a question. Above all, have no grip to such conclusive statement that involved me, without me knowing anything about it.
First of all, what has my moustache to do with the marriage. Does it matter? One can probably request nicely. This wasn't it. This was asking me to, indirectly insisting. Sort of 'or else…' type of threat. I would appreciate if the topic were to be presented for discussion and two parties talked it over. Provided, the topic had importance.
Secondly, no body was talking. I was sitting with my eyes closed, trying to catch up some quick rest. For a conversation starter I find this was more like a bomb shell thrown in the water instead of a pebble to create a ripple.
Most importantly, the our marriage was announced to me, so casually. Mark the words, '… when we get married.' It is assumed, believed, decided, confirmed, approved, declared, announced that we are getting married and of all the people I didn't know about it. Will somebody send me my wedding invitation so that I can be present.
There was no issue between two of us. I was working on the project, on a special request by someone. It's my nature to be polite to all and be a bit light hearted and flirtatious. At the same time I am very concious about maintaining limits in relationships at work place. I wasn't looking for any relationship at that time nor was I interested in this particular girl.
My point is, how can one simply declare a decision, one sided, on to other, when there is no basis of connection what so ever. Do I see a clue here for failure of relationship? People become possessive about their partners. People tend to be over controlling. Demanding. Isn't relationships all about sharing? Two way process. All about understanding. Listening to others feelings. About freedom. Accepting the other as the way they are. It is all about acceptance and not expectations.
Today, lack of inspiration has stopped me writing something for the blog. Maybe its just that I am tired and heat is not helping. While trying to relax, the above incidence popped up to my mind. Thought I did share with you.
By the way, I still maintain my moustache.