Please note…. these are all numbered “ #1? ON PURPOSE!”

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1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. if we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing’, we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, its like camping.

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Pass this to as many men as you can – to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can – to give them an education. Do share this, via a link. Let people visit this page. Please don’t spoil the fun by copy pasting it. Thank you.

This is one phenomenon that most of people, not living in tropics will never get a chance to witness. It is hilarious. It is fun. It just simply beyond words to express the sheer innocent joy one gets out of it. Even if you are a victim of the gusty wind and it is your umbrella riding the winds, you will eventually laugh. Forgetting all the misery.

It is, believe me a tart little stupid to carry an umbrella in rains that are accompanied by gusty winds. Nothing can stop you from getting wet. So why bother, is my question. Instead, I would say, why not enjoy and embrace the pouring rain and get soaked. If you can’t bear it, then better stay home. Don’t be a spoiled sport in that. After all, remember you are only human.

1) That’s not right ……………………………. Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harboring a Fugitive? ………………. Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP…………………………………… Kum Hia Nao

4) Stupid Man ……………………………………… Dum Fuk

5) Small Horse ……………………………….. Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach? …………………….. Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped into a coffee table ………….. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

8) I think you need a face lift …………………… Chin Tu Fat

9) It’s very dark in here ………………………… Wao So Dim

10) I thought you were on a diet …………….. Wai Yu Mun Ching?

11) This is a tow away zone ………………………. No Pah King

12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week …Wai Yu Kum Nao?

13) Staying out of sight ………………………… Lei Ying Lo

14) He’s cleaning his automobile …………………. Wa Shing Ka

15) Your body odor is offensive …………………. Yu Stin Ki Pu

16) Great …………………………..Fa Kin Su Pah

Enjoy friends.