New Regime Day 12

May 06 12:00 hrs. (Thailand)

Yesterday was the most painful day of this new regime. Several reasons for the day going so bad. Could not complete any of the dosages. I was shaken up mentally a lot. Even today, it is the same. The condition was worsened yesterday due to a stunt performed by the hospice staff, which I never approved of. This particular guy, takes H2O2 in a syringe and pumps it into the boils and open wounds. It is the most excruciating pain you can ever imagine. First of all the skin is stretched like a balloon but not being able to expand, it hurts. To top it, H2O2 starts burning the bacteria and other infection and starts to foam. This is further adds to acute pressure in that boil or wound area. I could kill someone with that amount of pain. So far I tolerated this traumatic stunts, believing that it would help in getting rid of infection. Yesterday was limit. The shock was far too much. Entire day, I had fever, body was weak, could not eat, drink or do anything.

Even today, weakness prevails. I got up to go to toilet and was dizzy for some time before I could walk. I have been doing some stretch exercise and throwing hands in the air and kicking legs to help maintain blood circulation. However, since yesterday I feel, my energy has dropped to extreme low levels.

Given so much drama happening, I have decided to drop the treatments for 2-3 days or more. Once I recover from this trauma of pain, I will start with the regime once again. In the meantime, I hope to receive the empty capsules, some fruits and also protein food. It is also likely that someone will send me apple cider vinegar, not the organic type, it's the Heinze brand, provided he finds it in the local shop.

While thinking about it, I realised that if this treatment does not work, then the only option would be surgery and that is something I can't afford at the moment.

I am trying to keep my calm, with situation not at all favourable. No one to talk to, since no one speaks English here. I don't speak Thai. My only connection to civilisation was through Internet and that too is working extremely slow and erratically. I lodged complaint with the service provider, only to receive an answer after two days, 'everything is fine' please check your own equipment. My equipment is fine too. But these guys won't listen. It is matter of something they call 'saving the face'. It is big thing here. You can't confront anyone as it is losing face for you and the other person.

Well hope things improve soon else I will go crazy. This Internet problem, computer problem and all that is driving me crazy.

Someone may say GOD is testing me… for what? To give me more of this crap? Just because I am not complaining, I am bearing to my best ability, does not mean that I am enjoying it. If that's how GOD works, he is not funny. He needs to change his attitude. Stop giving pain to those who love him. Stop torturing those who don't complain and start giving a better life to those who definitely deserve. That is Me.